Fishcake Ficlets
by Lethargy
Summary: A collection of plot bunnies, drabbles, what-ifs and whatevers set in the Narutoverse. Nothing finished, nothing final. And all free for adoption for interested parties!
1. curse of akai

**Introduction:**

**Hello to all my readers! Welcome to _Fishcake Ficlets-_a little melting pot, if you will, of random plot bunnies that never took root. Everything here is incomplete and will most likely remain that way. I do encourage adoption, though!**

**-Curse of Akai-**

**Sample Summary:** An unusually strong reaction from a young Naruto in response to the Kyuubi's seal forces the Sandaime to hide away the child for his own safety. But naturally curious, the red-haired, red-eyed demon child cannot help but be drawn to the mysteries of human society—and Konoha's fate takes a dramatic turn, as he befriends none other than Itachi of the Uchiha clan.

**Timeline:** Regular Naruto timeline, starting from Kyuubi sealing.

**Example Excerpt:**

_October 10th, 2:34AM_

At first, there was only silence but for the flickering of flames. Konoha still burned, golden tongues of flame crackling as they ate at the village's weathered wooden foundations. Long, acrid plumes of smoke rose high into the air, circling the village like a restless, shadowy beast. But something had changed.

One could sense it in the mood of the people, a slow and gradual awakening of the senses that left one slightly dazed, like the landscape of a desert after a drenching summer storm. One by one, shinobi and villager alike raised their eyes to face the blackened skies.

The long, loud, and agonized whine of a dying beast ripped through the air, its piercing shrieks painfully clear in the moonlit gloom. With a final howl of rage, the Kyuubi staggered towards its prey, eyes burning with madness, mouth frothing—and fell to the ground, defeated.

The impact of the fox demon's body upon the earth was akin to the effect of a bullet shattering glass.

"T...the Kyuubi..."

"...Yondaime, he did it..."

"H-he did it! We...w-we won!"

"The Yondaime defeated the Kyuubi! Konoha is saved!"

"The Kyuubi is dead at last!"

Cheers and cries of truimph rose up amongst the peoples who had been so oppressed by the demon, as the Village of Hidden Leaf celebrated its second chance at life. Joy, so long a foreign feeling, returned again in full force, as friends and neighbors, lovers and enemies alike breathed sighs of relief that everything was now done and over with for good.

Unnoticed in the distance, a blonde-headed man stood alone atop a gigantic toad, clutching a small bundle in his arms. Dying lungs drew a soft, rattling breath before he fell to his knees and collapsed.

_Same day, 2:45AM_

"Hokage-sama..."

The old ninja almost started to correct the young ANBU, when he realized the truth of the title. 'Of course. He is gone from us, now...'

Straightening up from his chair, the Sandaime strode towards the white-haired shinobi with the bundle in his arms. "This is...?"

"I'm not sure, sir," the shinobi admitted, and Sandaime was struck again by how young he truly was. "The...the Yondaime told me to bring him to you."

'Him...?' This gave the Sandaime pause. He cast a searching glance at the boy, whose face remained impassive, before uncovering the bundle personally.

A fragile baby boy laid slumbering in the captain's arms, the epitome of innocence if not for three crimson slashes across each cheek. His hair, standing up in short, stiff spikes, was matted a dried blood red with bright yellow roots. But perhaps the most potent detail laid in the spiral seal emblazoned on the infant's stomach, the black a sharp contrast to pale white skin.

"In the name of the..." the Sandaime gaped at the spectacle with a mixture of shock and horror. "_What_...who is this?"

"The Fourth's last legacy," the captain continued, blinking slightly as a fresh trickle of blood ran down the side of his head and soaked into the dark fabric of his facemask.

_Somewhere in a treehouse, 8 years later_

"Hands down."

The young whiskered boy frowned as he turned to face the forbidding visage of a tall, white-haired ninja hanging upside down on his ceiling. After a few more seconds of heated stares, the boy reluctantly retracted his glowing hands from the wall and clasped them behind his back.

"But I'm bored," he whined. "You're no fun at all, Mr. One-Eyes."

The ninja merely raised an eyebrow. "You know you're not supposed to climb on the walls. The Sandaime himself has explicitly forbidden it."

"Well, it's not fair," the boy pouted, scarlet eyes flashing. "Why do I have to listen to that old man, anyways? He never lets me doanything and it's so boring up here, just living with all these stupid trees. Why can't you take me with you back to the village, huh?"

"Hokage-sama said-"

"Geez, I know already," the boy snapped, dismissing the words with an irritable flick of the wrist. "Hey, can't I go back with you next time if I promised to be good?"

"No." Before the boy could complain, the ninja held up a hand. "No arguments. I'm switching shifts soon, so I expect you to be on your best behavior for the next guard." Inwardly, he grimaced. Discipline he could deal with. Babysitting? Not so much.

The boy opened his mouth to protest, but the ninja shook his head, and he fell silent again, sulking.

Trying to resist the urge to roll his eye, the white-haired ninja pulled out a familiar orange book and was soon happily engrossed in its risque contents, ignoring the fake vomiting noises from the other attendant in the room.

It had been almost eight years since that fateful October morning when the Yondaime had performed his ultimate sacrifice. The young Hokage's only surviving heir and the vessel of the nine-tails fox had grown, morphed by demon chakra into a faint shadow of his deceased father. Red-eyed, red-haired, with vivid whisker marks on his cheeks-if anything, he was the living, breathing, human reincarnation of the Kyuubi.

Sandaime had taken action merely hours after the announcement of the demon's supposed death. Although the Fourth's intentions were noble, there was no feasible option to let the boy assimilate himself in Konoha safely. Emotions were still far too raw. With his distinguishing traits, it would not be long before someone would panic and try to attack him. Vessel or not, the child was still human and the village's last remaining link to his late father, and the Hokage was secretly reluctant to sever such sentimental ties. Instead, an alternative plan was quickly placed into effect.

A small but secure outpost far from Konoha's borders was converted into a one-person flat, and the child was rushed there without hesitation. Unnamed and unknown, he lived there for years afterward, always under the strict guard of a select group of jounins who were rotated about in a weekly basis. He was not to visit the village, ever, nor leave the post without permission of his guards. If anything unusual occurred, the Sandaime was to be notified immediately in case it posed a security threat to the village. Basic necessities were provided for and refreshed on a weekly basis by the attending jounins (most of them just brought boxes of ramen) through a special fund set up by the Third-but that was it. There were no books, no toys, nor amusements of any kind, and details about the boy's past were strictly sealed. As a result, the boy was often relegated to spending most of his days lounging listlessly in his prison, subject to moody, taciturn ninja and mindless boredom.

**(*maybe some books for basic education? Honestly, I wasn't sure and never decided past this point.)**

"Hey, Mr. One-Eyes," the boy asked after a long pause. "Who's coming next? Is it that funny-looking guy who's always chewing on a stick? _(He's fun to annoy.)_

"No," the white-haired ninja replied, still engrossed in his book. "And it's a senbon, not a stick."

"Then who?"

One eye swept lazily over him, as if contemplating how much to say. The sight of two eager red eyes staring back with unconcealed anticipation was more than a little disconcerting. He'd never been on very good terms with red eyes.

"You wouldn't know him," he replied, voice a little harsh.

"Someone new?" the boy brightened. A fresh start, then.

"Un." The ninja paused for a bit, deep in thought. "But you two...are quite similar."

"Really?" the boy chirped, growing excited. "Hey, hey, tell me more about this guy? Is he strong? Does he know more jutsus than you?" He jumped back and forth in front of the ninja, attempting to pry the orange book away and have a good look at his one uncovered eyes.

"That's enough," the ninja growled, and disappeared in a poof of smoke. A few moments later, he had grabbed the child around his waist and placed him on the bed. "Sit down and wait."

Instantly the boy jumped up, still excited. "Hey, what's his name? Can you tell me that?"

"Request denied," the ninja said flatly. "Against the rules."

The boy narrowed his eyes. "Well, forget it! I don't care anyways!" In a huff, he turned away to face the wall, falling into yet another sulk. "I hate rules..."

The ninja gave a sigh and ran a hand through his white mane in defeat. _'So do I, boy. So do I.'_

**(So yeah, Mr. One Eyes is Kakashi. Anyways, after this part, Naruto meets his new babysitter, which turns out to be Itachi, of course, and the two form an unlikely bond over their mutual "outcast" status-Naruto because he's the 9-tails host, Itachi because he's caught between the demands of his family and loyalty to his village. Eventually they get to be good friends, and then the Uchiha Massacre happens...)**

_Night of Reckoning_

"Itachi-nii..." Naruto was hesitant, for tonight the young captain seemed unusually tense. There was an unpleasant stench in the air, and the sword of the young guard was covered in something slippery (shiny?) and red. "What are ya doin' here?"

His eyes cast a quick glance at the ground, where his current guard was sprawled, fast asleep in a large, dark puddle, before pulling themselves away to look at Itachi. The latter's eyes were glowing a faint crimson in the darkness, and he was standing-as per custom, absolutely still.

"Itachi-nii?"

With one swift movement Itachi sheathed his dirtied sword and moved towards the door. He turned back before stepping out, red eyes trapping him in their ruby depths.

"Boy."

Naruto winced-Itachi hadn't bothered to call him that in a long time.

"Yes, Itachi-nii?"

There passed a moment of uncomfortable silence in which Itachi continued to stare at him impassively, as if looking for some hidden flaw that he himself was unaware of. When he spoke again, Naruto almost jumped-the sound was so sudden.

"Come."

"H-huh?"

Naruto blinked, confused, but Itachi offered no explanation beyond waiting for his reaction. He looked around again, casting an uneasy glance at the slumbering guard.

"I...I'm not allowed to."

Itachi's eyes flashed and Naruto mentally winced, resisting the urge to back away.

"Then I'll take you with me."

"Huh?"

Naruto was confused. Itachi wanted him to leave? With him? What was going on?

But any words he said were drowned out as the older boy gathered him in his arms and leaped off into the darkness.

**(And...that was as far as I got. I think the original plot had them wandering around the Elemental Countries and Itachi training Naruto in swordsmanship and stuff and maybe eventually ****joining Akatsuki, where Naruto essentially acted like Itachi's surrogate little brother, following him around and generally getting trained by everyone b/c Pain thought he'd make a good weapon in his mission for world peace or whatever. Never got off the ground, and later Naruto chapters made this even more unlikely, so there you go. A dead plot bunny. Still was fun to write, though.)**


	2. naruto joins the akatsuki

**Summary: **A discarded/discontinued version of the "Naruto joins the Akatsuki" plot bunny.

**Timeline: **Regular Naruto timeline, sometime after Naruto's 5th birthday

**Example Excerpt:**

* * *

**It was raining.**

On the positive side, this would make their jobs ten times easier.

On the negative side, he was soaking wet while his partner was happily sheltered under a nice warm canopy of wooden joints.

"How much longer?" Orochimaru asked. He was extremely annoyed. Not only was he risking his health in this downpour, but his dignity was taking a severe blow for squatting in the rain like a common toad.

"Patience," Sasori, his partner, said placidly.

"Patience?" Orochimaru scoffed. He wiped a few raindrops from his brow, irritated. "How ironic. One of Konoha's three Sannin is going to be done in by a head cold from the rain. I'm not as young as I used to be, you know."

They had concealed nearly all traces of chakra from their body to avoid being detected—which meant that there was nothing between Orochimaru's head and the rain.

The puppet master moved his limbs in what Orochimaru assumed was a shrug. "44 is not so old, after all. The Sandaime himself is in his 60s, and doing well enough as the Hokage."

At the mention of his former sensei, the snake sennin's eyes hardened. "That old fool...I should have been next in line."

"Still holding on to the past, Orochimaru?" Sasori chuckled. "It will do you no good."

"I refuse to take advice from a man—no, apuppet—less than half my age. It's ridiculous." Orochimaru growled. "This better be worth it."

Sasori nodded, choosing to ignore the slight. "It will be."

* * *

They had been ordered by the Akatsuki—though Orochimaru preferred the term "requested", as he was wont to take orders from the shadowy visage that claimed to be their leader—to sneak into Konoha and take the Fourth's Legacy—the young child in which the Kyuubi had been sealed for all these years. The leader evidently had great plans for Uzumaki Naruto—to train him to his true potential as a fearsome killing machine that would skyrocket the reputation of the fledging criminal organization. Or so he said as much.

For this task, one of Konoha's former legends and the murderer of the third Kazekage were appointed through an agreement that was mutually beneficial. The leader would get the child; in return, Orochimaru had the opportunity to collect some stray research notes he had hidden in the village, while Sasori would be able to expand his "collection"—should the need to battle arise. His current compilation numbered at about 87 puppets.

The two members shared an odd bond resulting from their similar interests. Orochimaru wished to cheat fate by seeking immortality; Sasori's plans, though more modest, were not any less daring. He had already succeeded in transforming himself into a puppet, and was looking for means to refine his techniques by using alternative methods on his victims. It was actually Sasori who attracted Orochimaru to join Akatsuki in the first place: the latter had dug up records in Sunagakure about the mysterious puppeteer who had left the village at about the same time their Kazekage vanished.

After joining, however, Orochimaru found Sasori's style to be far from his liking—he believed that a soul hidden inside a puppet was too fragile—but stayed for the...convenience the organization offered...in terms of tracking down new test subjects.

* * *

"What kinds of shinobi exist in Konoha?" Sasori asked conversationally.

His bedraggled partner was staring straight ahead. "Of the bunch, the only ones worth noting are those who specialize in dojutsu(1) from their advanced bloodlines. The Hyuuga clan posess the Byakugan, while the Uchiha..." Orochimaru paused for a second to lick his lips. "...have the Sharingan."

Sasori nodded in acknowledgement. "I have heard of the Sharingan belonging to the Copy Ninja Kakashi...but I do not believe he is part of the Uchiha clan."

"Hatake Kakashi received his eye as a gift from one of his teammates," Orochimaru explained. "He has learned to use it well, as expected of a genius...but genius without Uchiha blood can only get you so far." His eyes turned ...only so far...

If Sasori noticed his partner's sudden silence, he said nothing. Instead, he focused on the village beneath their perch on top of the cliff. With help from Orochimaru's experience, they had pinpointed the time for the nightly shifts of guard duty. Judging by the slight fidgeting of the current guards, it was almost time to move.

Still, Sasori refrained from catching his partner's attention until the reserve guards started walking towards the main gate. He gave Orochimaru a tap on the shoulder with his tail, signalling him to prepare himself. Because of the size of his bulky puppet, Sasori himself would be waiting outside as backup while Orochimaru retrieved the child.

"Are you sure you know where he is?" he asked.

"Of course I do," Orochimaru replied, wrinkling his nose in distaste. "He's been digging in the same patch of dirt for the past three hours. He'll probably find his job easier now with the rain."

Sasori suppressed a snort and watched as Orochimaru scanned the surroundings beneath him. The snake-Sannin's eyes caught sight of a convenient pole just inside the village wall.

Child's play, Orochimaru smirked, opening his mouth. A long, thick tongue shot out of the darkness like a red ribbon, wrapping itself around the pole. Orochimaru tugged experimentally, gave a final nod to Sasori, and leaped.

Even without the rain, the cover of night was enough for Orochimaru perfectly as he flew over the heads of the guards. If a jounin or ANBU had been on duty, he doubted that his partner would have had it so easy, but apparently peace had gotten into the heads of the Konoha villagers much earlier than expected. Sasori looked on in approval as Orochimaru landed deftly on the wall. It was perfectly executed: quickly and silently, like the strike of a snake. He sat back confidently to await the results.

In the meantime, Orochimaru was mentally cursing his luck. The pole was made out of wood—which meant that his tongue was now sporting splinters the size of Earth Country.

* * *

_Squiwck. Plop._

Naruto breathed a sigh of satisfaction as he tossed another soggy clump of earth atop his growing pile.

Naruto found it strangely funny that the only thing he liked about rain was that it drove everyone inside. Not him, though. Whenever it rained, he would run through the village, shouting and whooping at the top of his lungs—and nobody would care, because all the windows were shuttered and no one could hear.

When it rained, Naruto could go anywhere—he could pass by the book shop, for example, without the owner bringing out his broom and shooing Naruto away—or window shop by the candy store without the old man behind the counter staring at him all the time with a death grip on his cash register. Nobody bothered to come out and call him names like "demon" or "monster" when everything was this wet. The storms kept the ugly words inside, neatly wrapped behind layers of paint and plaster.

Of course, it was lonely without anyone else there—and Naruto dearly wished that he could play with any one of the other village children—but this was better, in a way. At least he didn't have to bear the jeers and jibes of his peers—or, even worse, the glares from their parents. Naruto shivered, huddling into a tighter ball. It confused him how the same pair of eyes could be so cold towards him...and yet so warm towards any other child.

_Squiwck. Ploosh._

That reminded him what had happened this morning. It was also the reason why he was out here now, digging holes in the dirt of a random alley.

* * *

There was an old grandmother in Konoha who liked to sit next to her family's produce stand everyday and watch the customers browse the wares.

Whenever someone would walk by, they'd greet her—and she'd nod back at them with a smile on her face. If it was a child that came running up to her with exclamations of _'obaa-san!'_, she'd smile even wider—and sometimes, she would draw a stick of candy out from the folds of her skirt to give to the child. Naruto was intrigued by the woman's generosity and began to pay her more attention with each passing day. Although he didn't know it at first, his heart ached for the old woman's approval—hidden in that warm, soft smile that made it hard to breathe even when he was looking at it from far away.

Naruto decided, one day out of the blue, that he wanted her to smile for him, too. If he looked friendly enough, he was sure the old woman wouldn't reject him. He was hesitant at first about what to do. Afraid of rejection, he would walk towards the produce stand—and run back within a block of it. Years of experience had taught him not to be stupid: there were plenty of people who had smiled at him and patted his head—before they dragged him off to an alley and beat him up. Always, someone would step in and stop the perpetrator, but not after Naruto had collected a good amount of bruises—and definitely not before he'd tried to stop his assaulter first. So this time, he resolved to wait.

Every morning, Naruto would squat behind a pile of boxes two blocks away from the produce stand and just...watch. Lots of people like to shop for vegetables in the morning, because they were fresher, so the produce stand always opened early. Naruto himself didn't mind vegetables, either. Sometimes he'd order vegetable soup from one of the friendlier restaurants in town when he was getting tired of ramen, just for a bit of variety. One of the good things was that the people were usually too busy to pay attention to him, so he could observe them uninterrupted. What he saw...confused him, to say the least.

The villagers were nice to each other. Naruto couldn't figure it out. They laughed and told jokes, but...if Naruto met any of them later in the day, he only got glares and curses. The same children that tormented him daily were loved and praised here by everyone else, and watching them all, Naruto couldn't help but feel a terrible sense of injustice.

The turning point came that morning when he saw Iruka-sensei coming out to buy vegetables at the same stand. Mingling with the crowd, he spoke easily to the villagers, greeting them like he would to Naruto. A cheerful smile was always the answer when they asked him how he was doing. Naruto had stepped out from behind the boxes then. Nobody noticed him. And not once, not even once did Iruka-sensei bother to turn around and acknowledge the boy. He simply made his purchases and walked on home.

This was the same man who had celebrated his fifth birthday with the Hokage and gave him a present? The one that hugged him back, tighter, after Naruto started crying?

_Why was he here with...with them? The mean people? Were they friends? But...how come they liked Iruka-sensei, but not him?_

Naruto wanted to shout after the retreating form of his teacher and tell him to come back and explain himself. Instead, his eyes found the grandmother instead, who had just given away her first stick of candy to a little girl in pigtails,

Naruto resolved to test his luck. He held back his tears, put on a painfully big smile, and ran towards her.

"Obaa-san!" Ignoring the cries of the crowd, Naruto cut through the throng of people, his heart hurting in a way it never had before. He was half-hoping that she would see him and give him a hug to stop the pain. It had been comforting when Iruka-sensei did it, but...

Iruka-sensei knows the mean people...

Arms outstretched, he ran blindly towards his goal, not seeing the woman's smiling face being quickly replaced with a mask of horrified fear. As soon as he was within ten feet of the elderly woman, she had sprung up from her chair, yelling curses at the top of her lungs. The noise brought Naruto back to reality and he screeched to a stop, blinking.

_Why...why is she screaming?_

He had covered his ears.

And then an apple bounced off his head.

It took Naruto a few seconds to realize that the kindly grandmother had thrown the object before he was dodging all sorts of produce: cabbages, celery, potatoes, etc, etc... Experience with the village children had taught him quick reflexes, but this only increased the woman's efforts.

He remembered shouting at her to stop, but then a rock had hit him on the back of the head. Turning back, he saw that it was a little boy, sticking his tongue out at him. Her mother, half-holding her hand, was more worried over the old woman to notice.

Before long Naruto was being pelted with all sorts of flying objects: rotten food, dirty pebbles, the old woman's shoes...

And constantly, her words were ringing in his head, repeating themselves over and over again.

"Demon! Monster! How dare you take away my children?"

He remembered slowly sinking under the attack, hands covering his head, sobs coming out of his throat. And always, that lingering question.

_Why? Why do they hate me? Why are they mad?_

In the midst of the chaos, he remembered another voice shouting at the mob. A strong pair of arms scooping him up and taking him away. The sound of someone breathing. And then...silence.

When he awoke later in the afternoon, he was in his own bed and Iruka-sensei was by his side.

As soon as the teacher had left to grab him a glass of water, Naruto had fled from the apartment.

He had wandered the village blindly, earning uneasy stares for the wild look in his eyes. But nobody dared approach him. It was only after he had crashed into three different walls that Naruto decided to stop and calm down.

As soon as he'd sat down, he noticed three scraggly weeds by his right hand. Upon closer inspection, Naruto realized that they weren't weeds at all, but flowers—tiny purple plants that were barely blooming in the weak light. He'd spent the rest of the day staring at them in blank fascination, not even noticing when clouds started to gather and the sun disappeared over the horizon.

* * *

_Plop._

And now he was trying desperately to stop the rain from drowning his flowers. He had been steadily digging a ditch around the patch and channeling it into the road, so the water couldn't overflow and rip the plant apart with its brutal currents.

"You're lucky I'm here," Naruto told the flowers, soaked to the skin. "Or else you'd be underwater by now."

Perhaps he was concentrating too hard. Or maybe the weather was to blame. But in any case, Naruto was clueless when a hand struck him hard behind his head, rendering him unconscious.

"Weak," Orochimaru snarled as he tossed the muddy child across his shoulder. His nose crinkled in disgust. "And filthy, too." But I got what I wanted in the end. In his free hand, he held a folder filled with papers, wrapped neatly in multiple layers of cloth.

After this is over, Orochimaru resolved, running silently through the village, I am going to seek out a worthy host for my rebirth...

* * *

Somewhere across town, a young woman awoke in a cold sweat, one thought burning in her mind.

He's here.

* * *

"Hokage-sama, I don't understand." Standing in the Sandaime's office, Umino Iruka was close to pulling out his hair. "I reported Naruto missing three hours ago...but you only set out a squad now? When it's pouring?"

The Sandaime paused puffing on his pipe. "That is correct."

"B-but...but why now?" Iruka protested. Over the past few weeks, he had found himself growing increasingly attached to the small golden-haired boy. "Why didn't you send them in earlier? I was worried sick!"

Sandaime gave Iruka a critical look. "From your report, it seems that Naruto ran out by himself, willingly. I decided that it was best to leave him alone for a while so he could think on his own."

"Think on his own!" Iruka sputtered. "He's only five years old! Do you even know what those people did to him? They—"

Sandaime held up a hand, motioning Iruka to quiet down. "Sit," he said pleasantly, pointing to a comfortable armchair. Iruka grudgingly agreed. The Sandaime himself strode out from behind his desk and settled himself in an identical armchair facing the Chunnin instructor.

"As you know, Iruka, Naruto-kun is a very special boy."

Iruka nodded numbly. "But—"

"Please, allow me to finish,"

"As you say, Hokage-sama."

"Good, good. Now, where was I?" Sandaime took a puff on his pipe. Iruka willed himself not to fidget. "Ah, yes. Naruto-kun is a very special, very unique boy, because of the fact that the Nine-tails demon is sealed within him. When the Yondaime performed the seal, he meant for the village to see him as a hero. But it has not been so."

"As much as it pains me, Naruto is feared as a demon—the reincarnation of the Nine-tails itself. Instead of being admired and loved, he is abused and beaten. This is a fate he cannot escape and I cannot change, because even the authority of a Hokage cannot change the souls of human minds."

"Thus, I have come up with a solution. He will live the life of a normal boy—surrounded by loving influences such as yourself, Iruka—while growing up amongst his peers. It is my hope that the hatred of the older generation will not be passed onto the younger when they can see the boy as he really is: a human, and not a monster. But before he can achieve that goal, he must grow stronger. He must learn to resist the mistreatment of him on their own, because he will not always have friends at his side to defend him."

"In short, he must learn that to live the life of a shinobi is to live a life of hardship and pain. Naruto is strong and surprisingly perceptive for his years. Silent meditation on his own will be good for him. If I did not know that he could handle himself, then I would have certainly sent someone after him immediately. However...that would have drastically stunted his growth."

Sandaime finished a second puff of his pipe, pausing to gauge Iruka's reaction. The Chunnin was unreadable.

He sighed, and softened his words. "Now do you understand, Iruka? Why I left him alone? He cannot hope to go farther if he lives in constant fear."

Silence. And then, Iruka spoke.

"To become stronger...strong enough to bear the pain of loneliness..." His eyes rose to meet his leader. The saddened orbs spoke volumes. "I know only too well, Hokage-sama. But...that is why I am angry."

Before either man could utter a word, the door burst open.

In rushed Mitarashi Anko, half-dressed and panting for breath. Behind her followed four ANBU, ready to decapitate her on the spot.

"Hokage-sama," one of the ANBU stepped forward. "We apologize for the intrusion, but seeing as Anko is a leaf ninja herself..."

"I understand," the Sandaime nodded. He faced the anxious-looking girl. "What is it, Anko?"

The frenzied woman took a few seconds to catch her breath before she blurted out: "He's back."

The entire room froze. It was no mystery who Anko was talking about—as his only pupil, she had skyrocketed in fame after Orochimaru's escape from Konohagakure. Yet Anko's fierce, burning hate of the man had led many of the villagers to question her stability as a ninja. Consequently, she had been restricted to the title of tokubestu jounin(2) with limited activity outside of the village.

It was the Sandaime, with his calm exterior, that finally broke the silence.

"Are you sure?" he asked her seriously.

Anko's lip curled up in a sneer. "I'd know the signature of that snake bastard's chakra anywhere, no matter how he tries to hide it. He's here, all right. And I want his blood."

A few ANBU gave each other sidelong glances at the last comment, but kept quiet. Iruka, on the other hand, was verging on panic.

"One of the Sannin is in the same village asNaruto-kun?"

The Sandaime was looking decidedly concerned. "That has yet to be confirmed, Iruka. And even if that is true, Orochimaru should have no reason to go after Naruto."

He focused his gaze on the ANBU. "All of you. Scour the village and look for signs of Orochimaru. Should he be found, report directly to me. Do not engage in combat. I repeat—do not engage in combat. Make sure to pass the message on to your squad captain."

The four ANBU bowed in unison and disappeared in puffs of smoke.

"What about me?" Anko demanded. "I want to look for him too!"

The Sandaime shook his head. "It is better for you to stay here, Anko."

"Hokage-sama, I can scout, too! And I can track his scent better than anyone!"

"The last thing we need," the Sandaime said sternly, "Is a reactivation of that seal. We do not know all of its properties, and exposing you in your current condition to your former sensei could be disastrous."

"I don't care!" Anko made a move to leave, but the Sandaime stopped her in her tracks.

"You're a worthy kunoichi, Anko. But Konoha needs you. Preferably alive."

Anko had to chuckle at that. "Really, now? Hokage-sama...you flatter people too much." She turned around anyways, to give the two men a toothy grin. "Fine. I'll hold back the bloodlust this time. But if I sense him anywhere near this village again..."

More teeth revealed themselves before the slim figure disappeared. Iruka felt himself shudder inwardly. This woman...was frightening.

"Is...is it okay to just let her leave like that, Hokage-sama?" Iruka finally spoke.

"She will be fine," the Sandaime said confidently. "I can assure you that she will not make a move on Orochimaru tonight."

The momentary peace was shattered by a loud knock on the window. The pair turned to see a young man looking at them from the outside. Although his hair was grayish white and a face mask covered half of his face, Iruka was surprised to find out that the man couldn't be more than a few years older than himself.

In the next minute, the masked ninja had opened the window, sending a brief torrent of rain into the room.

"Ah, sorry. Misjudged the wind there," the ninja said absently as he closed the window behind him.

"What do you have to report, Kakashi?" the Sandaime asked calmly.

Iruka blinked. So this was the legendary Hatake Kakashi, the "Copy Eye Ninja" and Konoha's ANBU captain? He felt a new wave of respect wash over him for the jounin—along with a slight twinge of jealousy.

"We heard the news about Orochimaru," Kakashi said briskly. "Currently, one half of my team is in hot pursuit to confirm the rumors, as his scent has been detected, fresh, in the village. As for the boy..." Here Kakashi paused, and Iruka and the Sandaime felt themselves leaning in to hear better.

"He's gone, Hokage-sama."

A pause.

Then...

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN, '_HE'S GONE'_!" Iruka screeched, all traces of respect for the jounin disappearing.

"I mean," Kakashi continued, "That we could not find any sign of him within Konoha. A through search left us some clues, but rain had washed the rest away. However," here Kakashi paused to take a breath. "With the help of my dogs, I have concluded that Naruto was forcibly taken from the village, either by Orochimaru or a man who smells very much like him."

"Then why aren't you chasing after them!" Iruka cried.

Kakashi blinked. "Who are you?"

The Sandaime shook his head. "My apologies. This is Umino Iruka, the Academy's newest instructor."

"I see." Kakashi gave a cursory glance at the young Chuunin before refocusing on the Hokage. "The rest of my team is on his heels as we speak. I've split my dogs into two teams to track both the scent of the boy and that of Orochimaru, but both are currently heading in the same direction. What are your orders, Hokage-sama?"

The old man paused. "Have your men track them as far as they can. However, follow the old rules: do not engage Orochimaru in combat if you see him. He is a Sannin, and is not to be taken lightly. If you can, bring back the boy. If not...return to the village, and I will issue new orders from there."

Kakashi bowed in reply, opened the window, and flipped out of sight.

"This is bad news," the Sandaime muttered as he went to shut the windows. "I never expected Orochimaru to come after the child."

"Why would he take him, Hokage-sama?" Iruka moaned. His insides still bristled at the memory of Kakashi. I should have just chased after Naruto until I found him myself...

The Sandaime shook his head. "I am not certain, Iruka." A squad should have been sent to retrieve him immediately. His eyes narrowed. Could it be...Orochimaru is after the power of the Nine-Tails?

The rain gave him no answers.

The Sandaime sighed and walked over to grip Iruka's shoulder. "Let us hope, child, that the ANBU can bring him back." In one piece...

The young teacher nodded, gritting his teeth. "They better. Or I'll hunt them down and give them a piece of my mind."

* * *

Outside, in the pouring rain, Orochimaru narrowed his eyes as he detected signs of pursuit. He and Sasori were well out of the village by now, but it seemed that their escape was far from over. Logic chose this moment to taunt his mind.

Of course. The Sandaime probably keeps an eye on the little brat 24 hours a day. He'd be noticed if he was missing.

A howl reached Orochimaru's ears from behind them.

"Nin dogs," Orochimaru spat under his breath. "So they've got ANBU after our tails."

"Kakashi?" Sasori asked by his side, interest peaking.

Orochimaru nodded. "However...now is not the time. We should try to lose them as soon as possible." In reply, Sasori doubled his speed, and Orochimaru followed suit until the howling faded into the distance. Grunting irritably, he cast a glance at the puppet master's body. "My papers better survive this. I'm getting sick of this body."

"They're fine," Sasori replied curtly.

"Good." Orochimaru tightened the makeshift straps tying the boy to his back. Without a chakra shield, the rain was blinding him. Annoyed, Orochimaru looked to Sasori for aid again.

"How much farther until we reach the safe point?"

"A few more miles." Wooden eyes looked peered far ahead in the mist, though Orochimaru knew that Sasori's real eyes were safely protected a few inches below his puppet's face.

"Close enough," Orochimaru nodded in approval. "Let's finish this." It would have been more amusing to obliterate those fools once and for all...

He doubled his speed again, Sasori following suit, until the two were nothing more than twin blurs across the landscape.

* * *

Three minutes late, Hatake Kakashi appeared on the scene to find it empty and discarded. His team was nowhere in sight. Sighing, Kakashi ducked under a tree to speak to his communicator.

"Team. Report."

"Captain...there are no signs of the enemy present on the east or west sides."

"North side negative, captain."

I thought as much. Kakashi glanced at his side, where Pakkun was sitting expectantly. Kakashi raised an eyebrow. Well?

The nin dog caught the action and shook his head. "No luck finding their scents. It seems the others aren't doing any better."

Kakashi cursed softly under his breath. It was impossible that two people could disappear so quickly under these hostile conditions with Konoha's best team on the trail.(3) They couldn't have gone far...but the Sandaime's words were law. And breaking that law this time would cause more harm than good.

"Fine," he told his team. "All units report back to the Hokage's office. We're suspending this search-and-rescue mission on the Sandaime's orders."

"Yes, sir!"

* * *

One hundred feet underground, Orochimaru and Sasori were quietly waiting out the storm in the dark. Well, maybe not quietly. Whispering angrily might have fit the situation better.

"How disappointing. Three hours' worth of sitting out in the rain...all down to nothing." Sasori sighed. "And here I was hoping to capture some new subjects..."

"What happened to your ideals on patience?" Orochimaru said mockingly. "The important thing is that we completed the mission."

Sasori was inclined to agree. "Fair enough. Is that the child?" Puppet eyes focused on the limp bundle lying on the floor between them. "He's younger than I imagined him to be."

"The younger they are, the easier it is to turn their minds," Orochimaru drawled, smirking.

Sasori didn't miss that. "Did you meet someone interesting?"

"Someone with potential, yes," Orochimaru nodded. "He may be of use to me in the future."

"Oh? Someone from a prestigious clan, I presume?"

Orochimaru frowned. "No. Unfortunately, killing their guards would have attracted too much attention."

"Then who?"

The smirk returned in full force. "A prisoner of war, though he was just a small child at the time. Yakushi Kabuto."

"Intriguing."

"He is not particularly skilled, but his current residence is with the Leaf Medical Unit Squad."

Sasori chuckled. "A bandage. Shrewd of a Sannin to think that far ahead."

"I never knew you to be one for flattery, Sasori."

"It's the truth, isn't it?"

"Well..." Orochimaru couldn't resist an inflation of his ego. "I am a genius, after all." He stylishly flipped back some of his raven-black hair.

"...yes, Orochimaru." Sasori , now I've pushed him into self-absorption mode. "How long until we leave?"

"Fifteen minutes," the snake sennin said confidently. "ANBU should have reported back to the Sandaime by then, if I know that old man. We'll be able to shake them off then."

"As you say."

* * *

(1)"Dojutsu" – I believe it means "eye" or "pupil" technique.

(2) "Tokubestu Jounin" – Means "special jounin", but sounds better in context. Some people say 'jounin' is actually 'jonin'.

(3) Technically, there are three people present if you count Sasori...but he's practically hidden inside a wooden puppet, so I doubt his scent would show up too much compared to the other two (Oro & Naruto).

**(Once again, I never did anything with this and canon made it more and more AU as time passed. Not to mention Orochimaru was weird to write, so yeah. This was originally inspired a looooong time ago by a Japanese oekaki board doodle that showed a ridiculously cute chibi Naruto in an Akatsuki cloak, carrying a katana and looking absolutely ADORABLY deadly. But I guess pictures aren't worth a thousand chapters of fanfic in this case.**

**Plotwise, Naruto was supposed to grow up among the Akatsuki, getting trained by its various members and eventually paired up with Itachi after Ororchimaru's forced defection-either that, or tag along with the random partnerships as a third wheel once Kisame came in.**

**Later on, the concept of Naruto joining an organization out to ensure his death just didn't make sense to me, unless they brainwashed him or something, but brainwashed!Naruto just isn't Naruto for me, so yeah. For various reasons, this story never got off the ground, and now it never will. But the bunny is here for your viewing pleasure.)**


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